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The Vortex of Paroxysmal Disposition

September 2, 2009
Back to Basics. Such a lovely phrase, not.

I’ve been staring at this screen for ages, I still can’t figure out what is this that I’m feeling. Or is correct to say that I’m feeling something? I’m befuddled, my mind spins with constant acceleration, round and round, rushing faster than the speed of sound. Then meets an opposing force never seen or felt by anyone. Lines from Batman begins entered my mind: “This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object”. In this case, I’m the Joker. I crashed, lost my momentum and was dilapidated pretty quick.

I have an IQ of 132 and still my mind can’t process this. Maybe this is what they call emotion. Something unfathomable for the mind but very simple for the heart. If that’s the case, then lets hear what this heart (mine) has to say.

…

~is it time? Let me do this in a straight-forward manner.
I’m sad, confused and sick all at the same time. Someone entered my realms but left physically, she taught me how view life in a different perspective, to value friendship more, and to be in a paradigm in where only the two of us can move freely. I’m just getting the hang of it, but need she left.

I don’t want to imagine what will happen next. Pre-work hours when she comes in the office with 2 cups of scrumptious fried noodles, one for her and one for me, sharing stories to each other while waiting for 9PM to kick in. Work hours with no one on my right side blurting out jokes, thoughts and noisiness. After-work hours when I’m alone walking in the long road home. Never will I accompany someone to MRT or to the Bus Terminal again, and it will be jeepney-rides for me starting now. I guess I’ll be eating Almonets alone.

I know I’ll get a glimpse of her again, every after weekend, or every random day, but every after weekend or every random day is very different from everyday.

I hope she learned a lot from the training she had in our company, I’m very thankful to know that she think it’s fun being with us. And it’s really overwhelming that I became not just one of her friends, but her Kuya.

Suffice to say, Kuya Jot misses her sister.

Posted by kuyajot at 10:07:00 | permalink

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