The younger sister that I never had

I never had a younger sibling.

I was not delivered normally, meaning, my mother had to undergo a critical surgery before letting me live. She has some heart irregularities, that’s why it’s critical, it even came to the point that the doctor asked my father to choose, whether to let me or my mother live. My father chose us both. Backed up with prayers, disobeying the doctor’s opinion, we lived both. A modern testimony of faith. Because of that, my mother can no longer bear another child. So It’s just me and my ate forever with no more bunso but I.

I’m a kuya to my cousins, but I was never a kuya to a younger sibling. Not to a younger sister, nor to a younger brother. It’s different, I know it. And besides, my younger cousins are too young to say that they’re not even in the next age bracket as I. The emptiness I feel then, I still feel now. Perhaps, not anymore.

Friends. What are they? Who can they be? Where are they? Why them? How do you know if they’re real or not?

“When two people fell in love, they say it’s magic.”

Some people said, when a guy and a girl becomes best-friends, it’s inevitable that they fall in love. I disagree. If two guys, or two girls can become best-friends, why not a girl and a guy?

Is that fair to think that a guy and girl can’t be as close as siblings? Why? In Filipino, I’ll call it ‘malisya’.

Again, let me add something.
“When two people fell in love, they say it’s magic.
But when two people learn not to fall in love but stay in love in a platonic manner, it’s more magical.”

Recently, a girl or a lady (if she likes to be called one already) was added to my REAL friends-list.
You know her?
let’S jusy sAy that capItalization is good.
You get it?

She’s good to me, and she’s being good. We share our wildest stories, our happiest moments, our most oblivious ones, even the weirdest thoughts. It can’t be helped, but I already, or rather we did, expected that people might think wrong. We did not care.

Funny as it may seem, when she’s down, I’m up. When she’s up, I’m down. Maybe it’s God way to let us feel that we really need each other (hey friend, do you feel it also?). We share different random thoughts, argue about it but end up laughing and having the same conclusion.

As for me, I feel empty when we don’t talk.
I miss her company as much as I miss my other guy best friends’ company.
She brings happiness to me when she’s happy, and I want to return the favor by being available for her all the time.
I once said that I can’t promise anymore. She said “You can’t promise me?”, I changed my mind. I can now.

By that time, I know she’s the reason why God never gave me a younger sister.
By that time, I know she’s the younger sister that I never had